Bleeding out
by WinterLover8
Summary: 'Some of us have to cry their self to sleep. Some of us are hurt. But one thing we all have in common: We have a smile on our face to hide our tears.' BoyxBoy (I'll try to make this story in English. If you find anything that isn't right, please say it to me.) WARNING: Self-harm
1. Chapter 1

**_Hey guys,_**

**_This is my first story in English so I know not everything will be good. I only had English for 3 years and we only learned easy words and a little bit grammar. If you find any thing that isn't good please tell me and I fix it._**

**_I came up with this story when I was listening to ''Bleeding out'' by Imagine Dragons._**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own MBAV. (A lot things would have changed if I did ;) ). I do own the storyline _**

* * *

_Chapter 1_

Benny looked down at his arm. He saw his blood dripping on the bathroom floor. No one knows what he did. Not his grandma, Rory, not even Ethan. If they would knew what he did... Benny couldn't even think about it. They would say that he had to stop. That this could ruin his life.

But the only thing was that his life already was ruined. He knew he had to stop doing this, he wanted to stop. If he could do it, but he couldn't.

He had the feeling that he didn't disserved to live. That the world would be better if he was never born. That if he was dead no one would notice it. He was just another geek jocks could pick one. Why living this life if he could end it? Everybody dies, so why couldn't he already die.

Still feeling the pain, Benny put his sleeve down to cover the scars. He didn't know how many it were. He only knew that they weren't enough.

Now he had to play the same act he did everyday. Smiling at everything and acting like nothing happened.

He became really good at this. People believed him and didn't asked any questions.

Benny didn't liked the fact that he had to lie to his friends. It surprised him that Rory, Sarah or Erica didn't noticed the old blood on his arm. As vampires they could've know it, right? But that didn't matter.

Benny started to get ready for school. He hated thought, but he had to. The only reason he likes going to school is because he can see Ethan. Every time benny saw him he felt happy again. Maybe that's why they're best friends. Sometimes it felt like there was more then only friendship, but he didn't know what it was. Maybe because they were almost brothers? He couldn't lay his finger on it.

* * *

_**I know this chapter was really short and I know it sucked. But I'll try to make the next chapter longer:)**_

_**Ideas are welcome. X**_

_So I bare my skin _

_And I count my sins _

_And I close my eyes_

_And I take it in _

_I'm bleeding out _

_I'm bleeding out for you (for you)_


	2. Chapter 2

**Dominus Trinus 13**: **It wasn't my Idea to do too much romance. Especially since they don't know yet how they feel about each other. Oh, and I have read your story I just forgot to review*Oops*. It was pretty good.**

**Jujupops494: Sorry I can't promise that I'll do that. It's a good idea thought. **

**Bethan Forever: I know there aren't that much stories about Benny hurting himself. I just wanted to be original and for some people it's a touchy subject. By the way, thanks for posting this story on The Bethan Fans' community.**

**Thanks for reading! :)**

_**The chapter will now be in Benny's POV.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own MBAV. If I did there will be a season 3. I do own the storyline.**_

* * *

_Chapter 2_

**_~At school~_**

I stood by my locker putting things in it. I tried to thing about happy things so I could survive today. It's not as easy as it looks like if your head is full of other things. But at least I could try it.

I didn't had PE today so that was a good thing. If I had it I would wear T-shirt and that isn't a good idea. Right now I'm wearing a sweater to cover up the scar. People maybe think I'm crazy because of the weather, but that's better then when they find out that I cut myself. That would make my life only more miserable.

''Hey Benny. How are you?'' I turned around and saw Ethan. A smile was formed on my face.

''It always could be better.'' I replied. ''But I'm okay.'' ''Are you sure? You look a little pale.'' Ethan looked at me with a worried face. I knew I was paler then I used to be. But what would you except? I've lost some blood so that's normal.

''Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little tired.'' ''Okay, if you say so.'' I had the feeling that he didn't trusted me. I wanted to tell him the truth, but it isn't easy to say. 'I'm okay. Oh, and by the way, I cut myself.' It would be a long talk if I told him that. He would tell me that I had to hold and I wouldn't listen to that because I'm to stubborn. Yeah, maybe I could better not tell him.

''Have you seen Sarah lately?'' Ethan said. Probably to change the subject. I was glad he did, because I just didn't want to talk about it.  
''I haven't seen her. Maybe Erica knows were see is.'' I didn't care were Sarah was. I didn't hate her, but I just get a strange feeling when I'm around her. I didn't know it is, but I didn't like it. Maybe it's because Ethan was my best friend since we were six and now he so close with her and... No I'm not jealous. Why would I be jealous?  
Just because Ethan really likes her. I'm not jealous.  
''Earth to Benny.'' ''What?'' ''I just asked if you were ready to go.'' I nodded slowly. ''Sorry, like I said 'I'm just a little tired.''  
We began to walk to the class.

* * *

_**Okay really try my best to make longer chapters. Thanks for reading! xxx**_

_Oh, you tell me to hold on_

_You tell me to hold on_

_But innocence is gone_

_And what was right is wrong _


	3. Chapter 3

**funkybananas47: Awww thank you!**

**bethanloverxox: I'm not going to change this story only because you want Ethan to be the one to cut himself. This is how image it. I think It's better if Benny cuts himself, (That sounded wrong) because I've have more ideas with him then with Ethan. If you don't like it then don't read it. Like the Info/Summary said this is a Bethan story.**

**TeamEthanMorgan: Ethan would be more awesomer (Is that even a word? :) ) if he tried to win Sarah's heart but Benny's :). At least he noticed something. You know what? I think Benny really needs your hug. Thnx for reading!**

**CrazeLucius: I already thought about doing a Ethan POV. But that will be in the end. And I know my chapters are short I try to make them longer. Maybe it's better if I first write the story in Dutch and then take my time to translate it in English. I'll try that for the next chapter.**

**Bethan Forever: To be honest, I don't like Sarah either. Okay we get it your ex-boyfriend bit you and now you're a vampire (Which I think can be pretty awesome) But he could suck you dry so be happy that you're still alive!...For now. I don't understand why Ethan would have a crush on her. He's too good for her. If he could see what was right in front of him all these years (And if this show wasn't for kids)... Yeah that would be better.**

**Dominus Trinus 13: Maybe Sarah is the reason. Maybe she isn't. Maybe it's something else. Haha I can't tell you.**

**Okay I'll try to update this story every Saturday around 8 p.m., Central European standard time (Amsterdam). If I didn't update it's because I had to much homework or things with Volleyball (I have every Saturday or Friday a Volleyball competition).**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own MBAV (Maybe if I did I would like Sarah a little more.). I do own the storyline.**

* * *

_Chapter 3_

I just don't understand how it came that everything seemed normal but felt different. I know it sounds weird, but I just don't feel like the old me anymore. It's hard to hide it. It's all my fault. I should never start doing it in the first place. I could just ignore everything like the others do. Instead of doing that I have to hurt myself more. It's slowly taking control over me. These past weeks there wasn't a day that I didn't cut myself.

Hopefully Ethan didn't noticed anything. He was probably thinking about Sarah. Why would he even care about me if he had her. I'm his friend now, but what if Ethan finds out that Sarah likes him back? No Benny, don't think about that. Sarah doesn't like like Ethan. He isn't her type. They're just friends. You're still his best friend, nothing to worry about.

And if he and Sarah became a thing I would still have Rory, right? Ugh.. Why do I always have to think about things like this. I have better things to do. Like... Focussing on this class. Not that I really cared about it. But hey, it's better then thinking about these stupid things.

''Why don't you make any notes?'' Ethan asked me. I looked at my notebook and saw that there was nothing in it. I shrugged. ''I can copy them from you, right?''

Ethan rolled his eyes. ''Yeah, you can. But if I was you I should pay attention. I know this isn't your best class.'' English wasn't my best class, but that's just because hates me. I can't help it that her way of teaching is boring. She could be more fun if she wasn't so strict. And she gives to much homework. She isn't very loved by students.

Fortunately, the bell rang. I tried to walk away when I was out the classroom, but Ethan grabbed my arm.

''Can we talk.'' I looked at him for a time and try to speak, but he began to talk again. ''It's important.'' I only nodded. What was so important?

I followed him as we walked outside the school. A lot of questions came in my head. It was quiet for a time. Finally Ethan began to speak.

''What's with you lately? You started to act..different. Your so quiet.'' So that's what he wanted to talk about. ''I told you earlier, E. I'm just tired.'' Tired of life. If he only knew.

''But that's not a reason to act different. Just tell me Benny I'm your best friend. You can tell me everything.'' I never told him everything. He didn't now what happened to my parents in that magic battle. He didn't even know that there was a magic battle. Before all these supernatural stuff grandma told me that they died in a car crahs, but now I know that they died in a magic battle.

''I know that I can tell you everything. I always do.'' Lie. ''So why don't you trust me this time?'' ''Because I know that there is something. I can see it.''

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**Thanks for reading! XXX**

**_When the day has come_  
_ But I've lost my way around_  
_ And the seasons stop and hide beneath the ground_  
_ When the sky turns gray_  
_ And everything is screaming_  
_ I will reach inside_  
_ Just to find my heart is beating_**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry I didn't update on Saturday I didn't felt so well. (Throwing up and all that kind of stuff It happens almost every month...) **

**Reviews!**

**bethanloverxox: It's okay, but I didn't say that benny wasn't going to be the 'Boy' in the relationship. I only said that he cuts himself. A girl can comfort a guy to. And BTW I love Bethan too. It's so much better then the other ships. (Sorry guys who ship EthanxSarah an BennyxErica. I just don't like these ships.)**

**MissPrincessE: Aww thank you. I try my best. It's a easier language then French. But German is a little easier for me because it looks like Dutch :). Is it mysterious? I didn't know that, but that's good. Thanks for following!**

** funkybananas47: Hahaha LOL. Here's your second shout out.**

**TeamEthanMorgan:Ethan has a lot more to find out. But I'm not going to tell ya! I totally ship Bethan too (Otherwise I wouldn't make this story) And don't keep Benny for yourself I want to hug my tall friend too! (He isn't that much taller then me. I mean, He's 5'11. I'm 5'10, 13 years old and still growing. :) But that doesn't matter)**

**Dominus Trinus 13: I know the chapter are short. It's not only because I'm not so good in English (It's my best class :) ) , But I'm also kinda lazy... Hopefully this chapter is a bit longer.**

**Bethan Forever: It took him almost a month to find out that there was something wrong with Benny, but he still doesn't know what's wrong with him. And thanks for noticing my mistake. It was 23.00 p.m. so I was a little tired :). Here's the new update hopefully you like it :).**

**You guys know the Disclaimer. I don't own MBAV blablablabla.**

* * *

_Chapter 4_

''Benny why wont you tell me what's wrong?'' Ethan asked. I shook my head.

''Because, there is nothing. How many times do I have to say that! I'm just tired, accept that!'' ''Then why are you like this. You've been acting strange. This isn't the Benny I know.'' He tried to stay calm, but I could see that it wasn't easy for him. I on the other hand started raising my voice. ''Sometimes that happens, E! Ever heard of puberty? That's when these fucking hormones starting to mess with your body and you change!. '' I didn't care that other people were looking, I just wanted to go away.

"I can't always be the happy person you know! Ever thought about why I'm always like that?'' He didn't react. ''Why would you even care. Ever since you started to know Sarah I've been the third wheel. Do you know how that feels? No you don't!'' ''Benny that isn't...'' I didn't let him speak. How would he know that it isn't true.

''If it wasn't true, then you would know what is wrong with me. But no, all you care about is Sarah. She doesn't like you, E! Your just another nerd to her.''

I stared to walk away. ''Benny!'' Ethan Screamed, but I didn't care. Deep down I hated myself for saying these things, but I didn't had a choice. He would probably forget everything by tomorrow. Otherwise I have to avoid him.

* * *

I opened the door of my house and saw that grandma wasn't home. Good, then she wont ask me why I was home so early.

I went to my room and looked at my phone. Ethan had called me a few times. I didn't want to speak to him. Would you blame me. Maybe he's mad or sad... or worried? No, I won't call him back. That will only bring problems.

Stupid me. Why did I said all these things to him. I didn't mean to. Maybe it are just the hormones. Or I'm really that stupid.

''Ugh.'' I groaned. '' Why is life so unfair?'' I heard footsteps coming closer. Who could that be.

''Benny? Is that you?'' Oh no. I hearted someone opening the door. When I looked up I saw grandma standing in front of me.

''Benjamin why are you home?'' She asked me. I looked shocked at her. ''Uhm..I-...I didn't feel so well. Yeah, I..I threw up in the toilet and...'' ''I don't have to hear all the details I just wanted to know why you're here and not on school.'' She looked at me for a long time. Hopefully she falls for it. ''You look a little pale. Maybe you should take some rest.'' Thank you! ''Do you need anything?'' ''No, no I'm fine.'' I said with a fake smile. She nodded and left the room. That went better than I thought it would be.

Okay, grandma cares about me, but that could be all a act. Maybe she only did this because she doesn't have that much family left. That could be it.

''In the end nobody would care if I'm not here.'' I told myself. '' I'm can't to anything right, I'm weak, I'm dumb. I just don't deserve to life..'' The same things I told myself everyday. First other people started to say this to me. And now, every time I say it to myself I start to believe it. ''Nobody would care if I die.''

I didn't want to cut myself today. Believe I never wanted to do it in the first place. The first time I did it I was to afraid to look at it. Now it just became a habit. A habit with one final intention. To make a end. The end of my own life.

There could be a painless way. Maybe some pills or magic. But for now I'll do it with the cutting. Just to remind me of all these things I'm not and probably never could be. I can't be the Benjamin Weir like Ethan knows. That Benny is happy, funny, goofy and loud. I'm not. I'm the upside of all these things. it's all an act.

Noybody's perfect they say. If you look at me, everybody is perfect. Everybody except me.

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**This chapter was 712 words long. Is that long enough. I don't know. Hope you guys liked it!**

**xxx**

**_When the hour is nigh_****  
****_And hopelessness is sinking in_****  
****_And the wolves all cry_****  
****_To fill the night with hollering_****  
****_When your eyes are red_****  
****_And emptiness is all you know_****  
****_With the darkness fed_****  
****_I will be your scarecrow_**


	5. Chapter 5

**This time I won't do the reviews. I was about to do them but then my laptop crashed...so.**

**I only want to say that I can't update every Saturday because I'm just to busy with school and volleyball. I'll update when I can. This Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday my classes are only 40 min. long instead of 50. So I have more free time. Maybe I can update something then. I also want to say that I get help from my best friend (He doesn't have a account here) Because he knows more about this subject then I do. He used to cut himself to but he stopped.**

**I used (A site to translate things) To translate this chapter, so I don't know if the grammar is right. I was to lazy to translate it by myself.**

**This story won't be that long. Maybe it will be 7 or 8 chapters long (Or 6... Probably 7) . I already wrote the end and there won't be a sequel...**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own MBAV. Otherwise there would be a season there and it won't be on Disney Channel Because I found out how much I hate it that I only can watch it on Disney Channel. I don't like Disney Channel because it only shows the ''good'' things in life. I do own the story line.**

* * *

_Chapter 5_

I didn't know what I could do. The only thing I did was sitting on my bed and stare out for me. Maybe E... No, I don't want to call Ethan. I don't care how much I would like to call him I'm not going to do that now. That only makes it more complicated. I bet he wouldn't want to see me right now. But maybe he forgot it. Sure, the chance he would is zero comma nothing.

Maybe If I didn't said these things to him I wouldn't feel so bad right now. Maybe it was better if I him the truth. Then I might not sit here worrying over something that should have never happened. No, then I sat there ashamed to tell what I had done these past weeks. Why did both sides have something positive and negative? The positive of the choice I've made is that Ethan now won't ask anything about what happend. But maybe he'll ask more questions.

My eyes went to my phone and I saw that Ethan had already tried to call a few times . Fine, he probably wants to talk about it.

I can't avoid him forever. Maybe it is better to call him anyway.  
Still with a two fight in my head I called him. Secretly I hoped that he wouldn't pick his phone up. Unfortunately it went the other way.

_ ''_Benny? '' I heard Ethan say. Apparently he didn't expect that I would call him. Then I was not the only one. '' Hey. '' I said softly. '' Why do you call me? In fact, why aren't you at school? '' I let out a sigh when he asked his questions. I already counted on this.

'' Listen, I just want to say sorry for everything that I have said to you. I didn't mean to say those things to you. I know it was not right of me to say it, it's just... '' '' The fatigue? '' He finished my fatigue . ''...Yes ... Yes that is it. '' This time it was Ethan's turn to sigh.

'' Do You really think that I let you down? '' He asked. It was quiet for a while. I did not quite know what to say. '' Uhm ...Well... '' I stuttered. '' Sometimes a little bit...But not not always ''  
'' Why did you never said that before to me? I am not mad at you. We could've work this out much earlier. '' I felt a little bit better when he said that he was not mad at me. Maybe I was worrying about nothing.

'' You know what, I come to your House and then we can discuss this further. I'm sure we can come up with a solution. '' Even before I could say anything he hung up. I don't know if I should be happy that he came or nervous for what might happen.

* * *

'' Benny, Ethan is here. '' I heard Grandma calling. Hopefully this is going to be better then how it went earlier.

Not much later Ethan stepped in my room. '' do you any feel better? '' Was the first thing he said to me. I shrugged. ''There were days that I have felt better, but what can you do about it. '' Ethan nodded and came sitting next to me. With every second I became more nervous.  
'' So ... can you tell me more about when you feel that I let you down? That way I can help you better. '' On Ethan's face was a friendly smiles a which made me a little more calmed down.

'' Uhm.. For example on Fridays. These were our evenings, but since Sarah comes to babysit it seems like you only think about her and you no longer concern yourself with the things you do with me. '' Ethan nodded in agreement. '' I get what you meant and I'm sorry. It's just that I have these feelings for Sarah that I never had before for someone else. '' '' Yes, yes I can see that. '' I said softly. '' Don't see it wrong I'm also happy for you if she has the same feelings for you. I'm just afraid of what would happen between us. '' Ethanholded my arm softly. ''There would never happen something between us. '' That's what he says now, but what does he says if this would really happen? '' This Was all you wanted to tell me? '' I nodded. '' Yes '' I lied.

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_Ethan's POV_

'' Yes. '' Benny said nodding. I wanted to believe him so badly, but I heard something in his voice that made me ask myself if he was lying to me. This couldn't be everything that he wanted to tell had to be something else.

I looke at him one more time. His mouth corners were down, his eyes were dull and he looked paler . But this could all be because he didn't felt so well. Though it occurred to me that he wore sweaters and only lately that while the temperature started to go higher.  
Asking him more questions now might not be such a good idea, but I need to keep this in my mind.

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**Thnx for reading Everybody XXX**

_**Oh you tell me to hold on  
Oh you tell me to hold on  
But innocence is gone  
And what was right is wrong**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Sinterklaas, goedheiligman!  
Van Amsterdam naar Spanje, **__**  
Daar Appelen van Oranje,  
Daar Appelen van granaten,  
Die rollen door de straten. **_

_**English version:**_

_**Saint Nicholas, good holy man!  
Put on the Tabard, best you can,  
Go, therewith, to Amsterdam,  
From Amsterdam to Spain,  
Where apples bright of Orange,  
And likewise those granate surnam'd,  
Roll through the streets, all free unclaim'd [...]  
**_

**Today it's the second day of Sinterklaas (If you don't know what Sinterklaas is you should look it up ;) ) Fijne Sinterklaas mede Nederlanders en natuurlijk ook de Belgen :) (Word het eigenlijk ook in andere landen gevierd?)**

**Anyways, I have another song which fits this story it's _Birds _by _Anouk_ from her album _Sad Singalong Songs._**

**_Reviews_**

**Baby Porcupine-Cute but DEADLY : Sarah will be in this story. I'm not sure about Rory and Erica. Thanks for reading!**

**TrampledRose: Here's your update :)**

**TeamEthanMorgan: Maybe he'll hug him. I don't know. Actually I know what will happen. But I'm just a stupid Cheese head (Never call someone from the Netherlands a Cheese head. Some of them will get very angry. I'm one of them :) ) who doesn't want to tell you ;). Maybe there will be a kiss, maybe not...**

**Bethan Forever: I don't like making Benny sad, but I had to :(. It breaks my heart to see him sad... Ethan is one of those people who thinks there is something wrong, but it turns out that there isn't something wrong. (Actually I'm one of those people..) So that's why it took him so long. Maybe this chapter will figure out your questions or not. I'm not sure if it will.**

******DISCLAIMER: I don't own MBAV or the parts of bleeding out and birds that I post at the end of every chapter. I do own the story line :)**

* * *

_Chapter 6_

**Ethan's POV**

'' so. ... '' I said which made Benny look up. '' Isn't it a little too hot for a sweater? I mean it's .. '' No, I'm fine. '' He said quickly. '' But it's summer. Aren't you sweating?' '' ' well it's a sweat-er. '' He tried to make a joke, but he failed. '' Benny, I'm serious. Maybe that's the reason why you don't feel so good, because it's stuffy. You can better go change for a t-shirt. '' '' No! '' Said Benny loud which scared me a little bit. Did I say something wrong? '' I mean ...I'm not stuffy. I have it cold. ''For a long time I kept looking at him.'' Okay? I think I should go home. Are you okay alone? '' Benny nodded. '' Good. I hope you get better soon. ''

* * *

**Benny's POV**

I looked after Ethan when he walked out the door. Just when I thought all my worries were gone they came back again. Apparently I can not keep hidden everything forever, but I can try for as long as possible. If I . ... No, I'm not ready yet to end it. How many times it sometimes in comes in my head . There have to be another solution. Maybe I should talk with someone about it. Maybe Rory. But what if Rory tells it to someone else? I can already hear reactions from the rest of the school. I once read that writing a letter to yourself helps, but I don't get why this is useful. Most people say that it helps you to solve your problems, but I have a feeling that it's only getting worse when you think about your situation.

_My name is Benjamin Weir. I'm sixteen years. My parents died in a Magic battle. I have a feeling that my best friend me in the lurch. I'm being bullied. I cut myself and I always think of how the world would be better if I was not born._ Yes, that really helps.

* * *

**Ethan's POV**

There is something going on with Benny. I hate it that I don't know what it is. What if it is something bad. I would never forgive myself that.  
'' What are you thinking about? '' I freaked out, only a little bit, and saw Sarahin front of me. '' I was thinking about Benny. '' She gave me a quizzical look. '' What's with Benny? '' '' Have you noticed that he's been acting weird lately, And by weird I mean weirder then normally.'' She shrugged.

'' How does he behave then? '' I left a sigh ''He is quieter, tries to get away fast, wears sweaters in the summer. '' '' Now that you mention it. He behaves indeed different. But I don't know what's going on. Have you talked to him? '' I nodded. '' He didn't told me much. I really think he's hidden something.

* * *

**Benny's POV**

I wouldn't have problems like this a few years ago. It would flow out of my mind so easy. If I could only go back in time and live life like it was eleven years ago.

_* Flashback *_

''Mommy, he did it again. '' Said the five-year-old version of myself sobbing. The brown haired woman slumped by her knees and took me in her arms. '' What's wrong sweetie? '' '' He pushed me and then I fell. '' I felt her hand comforting on my back. '' It's okay,Benjamin. It will all be better. I'm here with you. It would not happen again. '' She said comforting. '' You don't have to feel like this anymore. ''

_* End flashback *_

Now I hear those words again it all just seems like a lie. eleven years later a I feel still like that. But I can't feel her arms around me anymore. She can't tell me that it's going to be okay. I have to say it to myself. And right it won't work.

A tear runs down my cheek when I think back on the memories. Sooner or later I would be with them again, but in a different place. Maybe be a better place. everyone would go to that place..

I search in a drawer and find a razor. I pull up my sleeve up and look for a while at the scars. Sooner or later everyone goes there anyway, so why not earlier.

* * *

**Ethan's POV**

' ' Ethan, are you sure it's not better if we go to Benny. You never know what's going on. '' Sarah was right. I can not just walk here while I know there is something with Benny. I have to do something about it. '' Okay, let's go. ''

* * *

**Benny's POV**

_* A few weeks ago*_

''Come on, let me go'' I said to Chad, a jock, who held me against my locker. ''And why would I, _Benjamin_?'' He smirked when he saw my reaction when he said my name. ''What? Don't you like your name? Why don't you tell that to your mother? Oh wait, you can't 'cause she's dead, Isn't she _Benji_? And what about your dad?'' ''Chad stop.'' I said softly while tears came into my eyes. ''He's dead too,isn't he? I bet it sucks to be you. Why would you even want to live anyway? You would make a lot of people happy if you just killed yourself. It's not like anyone is going to miss you. You're just useless.''

* * *

When I came home I went to the bathroom. I didn't want to talk with grandma about this. I just wanted to escape from everything. I looked into the mirror and saw that my eyes were red from crying. Chad just laughed at me when I started to cry.

Maybe Chad was right. Maybe I was useless. I just should kill myself.

And that's were it all started. The first time it cut myself. A begin to something I couldn't end.

_*End flashback*_

* * *

With this memory in my mind I stared to cut myself more. I felt the sharp pain in my arm, but slowly I became used to it. With every new cut I became weaker. I knew that wouldn't end school, wouldn't go to college, won't get married, won't raise a family and won't have a painless death. I knew that this would be my end and know one would care.

_*Ten years ago*_

The ten year old me was crying in front of the house about the death of my parents. They died a week ago in a _'car crash'_. ''Why are you crying?'' I looked up and saw a short boy with dark brown hair standing in front of me. ''Who..who are you?'' I asked him drying my tears. ''I'm Ethan. I just moved here. What's your name?'' ''Benja...Benny'' I quickly changed my name into Benny. I didn't want to be called Benjamin anymore. ''Benny is a cool name.'' Ethan said smiling and he sat next to me. ''Are you okay?'' He asked. ''Not really.'' ''Well, maybe I can cheer you up. We can be friends.''

_*End flashback*_

Ethan was always there for me. I knew he was really my best friend. He could always make me happy when I was sad. I should have told him earlier. I should have told him everything.

But now I'm here regretting that I didn't told him what was wrong. Regretting that I didn't told him how I felt about our friendship. I liked him more then a friend. I loved him. I knew I was jealous of Sarah because he liked her. But it was too late. It's all too late now...

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**Thnx for reading xxxx**

_**Birds falling down the rooftops  
Out of the sky like raindrops  
Birds falling down the rooftops  
Out of the sky like raindrops  
No air, No pride  
That's why birds don't fly**_


	7. Chapter 7

**Here's chapter 7. The last chapter of this story. There'll be a sequel.**

**Reviews**

**TeamEthanMorgan: No! Please don't kill me. I want to now if their is coming a second movie. Please don't kill me!**

**MissPrincessE: Aww Thank you:) I love doing the flashbacks. In this chapter their will also be a short flashback of Ethan an Benny when they were younger. Oops! I already said to much.**

**Bethan Forever: Sorry for making you cry. I just had to write it. It kind of comes from something that happened with me and my friend I had to cry while writing it. I don't know what you'll think of this chapter, but please tell me it.**

_**Sticks and stones may break my bones but words could never hurt me.  
But the truth is, they do, they hurt a lot.**_

**Discailmer: I don't know anything but the storyline**

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_Chapter 7_

**Ethan's POV**

What if Benny didn't told us what is wrong with him. Maybe he is too stubborn to tell us. All these kind of thoughts came in my head while we were walking to Benny's house.

I was getting more nervous by every step I took. What if it was something bad. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe he was mad at me because I wouldn't spend that much time with him anymore.

''Don't be so nervous.'' Sarah said. I stopped and looked at her. ''Well, sorry that I'm worrying about my best friend! If you don't care, then you can go away!'' ''Easy. I just said that you didn't have to be so nervous. Maybe there isn't something wrong.'' I shook my head. I was hundred percent sure that there was something. ''No, there is definitely some thing wrong.''

''Okay, if you say so.'' Sarah said while she walked further. Benny was right. Why would I fall for her. She doesn't even has the same feeling for me. I don't even know anymore why I liked her so much. She's a vampire! I would be old and die. And she'll live forever. It could never happen.

I ruined our whole friendship because of it. If I didn't tried to win Sarah's heart I would've know what was wrong with Benny. But know I don't know what it is and it kills me inside.

''Ethan are you coming!'' Sarah said. I sighed but didn't said anything else. I stared walking again. Sarah didn't matter right know. The only thing that did matter was what was wrong with Benny. If I wasn't so blind I would've know what it is.

Secretly I hope that my feeling is wrong and that there is nothing going on. But I already know that there is something.

* * *

The way the house was quiet and I didn't care. I didn't want to talk to Sarah. I didn't even know why she was here. Finally we made it to the house. I knocked on the door and heard footsteps until grandma Weir opens the door.

''Ethan? I tought you just left?'' she asked me ''Yeah, that's true. I just have to talk to Benny. It's important.'' Grandma weir looked at me questioningly. ''Is their something wrong? '' " I'm just a little worried about Benny.'' She looked at me again for a second but then nodded. ''Okay, come in. But be quiet.'' She stepped a side so we could walk in.

''Are you sure that there's something wrong? Maybe..'' ''Sarah, I hunderd percent sure that there's something wrong. I feel it. You have to trust me.'' She sighed, but followed me when I walked to Benny's room.

I wished I never had saw what happend behind that door. When I opend the door I saw something that I never wanted.

Benny laid quiet down at the floor with blood coming out of his arm. In is other hand he had a razor.

''No...'' I said softly while tears came into my eyes. How could this happen? ''Benny...'' I walked to him and kneeled down. ''Benny say something, please.'' He didn't react. So did was happening. I still couldn't believe it. My best friend committed suicide. ''Benny, please.'' I touched his chest to look if his heart was still beating. It took me a while till I found a weak heartbeating. He was still alive! But for how long?

''Sarah, call 911'' I looked at Sarah and saw her staring at Benny's arm. ''Sarah!'' I said louder. She looked up shocked. Probally because of all the blood. ''Call 911 and fast.'' She nodded and walked out the room. I looked back at Benny and grabbed his hand. ''It's going to be alright Benny. The ambulance comes as fast as they can. You'll be okay.'' I didn't know if he could here me. I tried to find hope. But to be honset, I wasn't sure if he would make it.

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_*Eight years ago*_

''Benny, look!'' The eight year old me pointed at a cloud. ''It looks like an elephant .'' ''No it doesn't, it's a chair!'' Benny said. I looked at Benny. ''No it's an elephant.'' ''It's a chair.'' ''Elephant!'' ''Chair!''' ''Elephant!'' ''Chair!'' We kept arguing till we fell from laughing.

''I think it's an elephant who sits on a chair.'' Benny said. ''Yeah!'' I said laughing.

_*End flashback*_

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I was in the hospital with grandma Weir and Sarah. I still couldn't believe what happened.

''We'll look what we can do. But we're not sure if he will make it.'' The doctors said before they brought Benny to a room. When they said that I felt like I lost all my hope.

I looked over at grandma. She was crying and she looked like she had lost a lot of sleep. I felt sorry for her. She just heard that it wasn't sure if her grandson, her only family, would stay alive. If I wasn't so damn blind I wouldn't sit here right now.

Finally a doctor came to us. ''And?'' I asked him. ''I'm sorry.'' I'm sorry? Does he mean... No! He must be wrong. ''Benjamin lost a lot of blood. His blood type is O negative. We were not fast enough. You may say your goodbye.'' No, he can't die. He can't.

''Ethan, you can go.'' Grandma said. ''But...'' ''Please go. I know you want to. Don't worry about me.'' I wasn't sure if I had to go. Grandma was still crying but I saw in her eyes that she meant it.

''Thank you.'' I said to her and I walked into the room.

* * *

I saw Benny lying in the bed. He had bandage on his arm. I walked closer to him. He looked so peaceful their.

''Benny, I'm sorry.'' I said while tears rolled down my cheek. ''I'm sorry I wasn't a good friend. I'm sorry that I was so blind. I'm sorry that I didn't spend enough time with you. I'm sorry that I didn't know what was wrong. I'm sorry that I couldn't help you. I'm sorry that it must end like this. I just don't understand why you did it. Did you really hated life that much that you wanted to end it? If I only could talk to you right now...'' ''I...I...I'm sorry too..'' I heard a soft weak voice say. I looked up. ''Benny? But... I thought you were dead. I'm mean, I'm happy that you here. But your alive?'' ''Not for long'' How did he mean not for long?

''Benny, what do you mean?'' He didn't answer, he just gave me a weak smile. ''But that means that you're going to die. Benny, you can't die!'' More tears rolled down my cheeks.

''E, I have to tell you something.'' Said Benny's weak voice. ''What is it Benny?'' ''E, I love you. More then a friend. More then a best friend. I love you Ethan Morgan.'' ''Benny what do you mean?'' But he didn't answer. I heard that his heart beating was going slower.

''Benny? Benny!'' But it didn't work. He was dying.

There had to be something to keep him a life. I knew something but I wasn't sure if he would like it. I had to do it.

''Sarah!'' I said loud. Immediately she appeared. ''Turn him.'' ''What?'' She asked shocked. ''Sarah please, it's his only change to survive. I'm begging you Sarah.'' I wasn't sure if she wanted to do it.

''Okay, I'll to it.'' Hope came back to me when she said it.

I looked away when she bit him. Only a few minutes I would see Benny again. I heard his heartbeat stop which can means two things. Or he's a Fledgling...or he's gone.

I looked at Sarah and saw Benny's blood on her fangs. ''Is he okay?'' She looked down. ''I'm not sure...'' ''But his heartbeat stopped. Doesn't that mean that he's turned?''

She sighed and walked to me. ''Normally it would mean that he's turned. but he already lost too much blood. Benny isn't turned Ethan... I'm sorry to say but he's gone.

It took a long time till the words came into my head. He was gone. He wasn't here anymore.

''Ethan are you okay?'' Sarah asked.

He had suffered from all the pain he had and now he lost all the pain.

''He's in a better place now.'' I said with a weak smile. ''Released from all the pain. He's happy now.'' A single tear rolled down my cheek. He wasn't here anymore. but he'll always be in my heart.

_**The end (their will be a sequel)**_

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__**Thnx for reading xxxx**

_**To a place without fear with no moonlight  
All I need are trees and flowers and some sunlight  
Were memories are made and were the old one dies  
Were love ain't lies**_


	8. Sequel

**Okay. I all ready have plans for the sequel. It will come out as soon as possible. I think I'll start today with the first chapter. **

**The name of the story is: ****_What doesn't kill you makes you stronger..._**

**Summary:** **_It's been two months since Benny's death. Things seems different at Whitechapel High. Some bullies stopped bullying._**  
**_Not only that but Ethan started to see something. Sometimes he sees Benny. Is it a imagine or is it really Benny?_**

**So what do you guys think?**

**Thanks for reading this story! XXXX**


	9. AN

_**Hey guys,**_

_**I'm sorry that I didn't start with the sequel yet. That's because I have another idea for a story which is not MBAV related. It's kind of a Rise Of The Guardians fanfiction but it's not really about the Guardians. It's more about Jack and my way how he died. The Dutch title will be: 'De Wraak van Jack Vorst.' And the English title will be: 'The revenge of Jack Frost.' **_

_**Again I'm sorry that I didn't start with the sequel. But now I'm really into RotG. But I that I'll still make the sequel.**_


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